HIV/AIDS in Our Communities

I recently conducted four (4) HIV/AIDS classes: three (3) with high school students and one with physician assistant candidates. Doing classes always brings up some strong emotions for me and sometimes I need to vent. I usually do that with someone close to me who understands the things I have gone through and am going through. However, I really feel the need to let you all into a small part of some of my reality. Here it goes… I had a date with a neighbor in my building, and of course, I told them my status before we engaged in any activity. They seemed to have a comfortable level of knowledge about HIV and it’s transmission. I will not go into details, about what we did, however, I will say it was safe. Nevertheless, the next day they came over threatening me with “Holy Hell” telling me that they were sure they could get the virus through exposure to saliva, as in kissing. No matter what I said, they refused to hear anything I had to say and I finally had to terminate the conversation completely. A few days later, I hear from another neighbor, who heard from another neighbor that somebody on the street named, “Mike” or “Mark” had talked to neighbors and told them to stay away from the “AIDS infected punk”. Generally, I try to educate people about how to appropriately respond to someone living with HIV/AIDS, otherwise I try to let some of the stupid stuff like that fly by me without a hysterical response, however, this raised up a lot of unexpected anger in me. My first thought is that I really do not want to waste too much, of my limited energy, on a matter like this. However, as I thought about how other people, not as open as me, about their HIV status would react, I realized just how distressing it could be.

Right now, our overall response to HIV/AIDS has been too little, too late. The current state of AIDS in our world borders on the criminal, especially when I look at the fact that lifesaving medications are not being made available to everyone who needs them. When history books are written about this time, I do not think we will not be looked upon kindly, after letting so many of our brothers and sisters and others in far off lands die. Somebody who had much more sense than me said, that how we treat the least amongst us, reflects on how much we as a people have advanced. If this is true, I think we have digressed significantly.

I guess what I am trying to say is that we all must do more to fight the ignorance and silence that surrounds this disease, particularly in communities of color, where Black folk like me live. As I tried to decompress from some of this anger, I came across a music CD by Bishop Carl Bean and the Unity Fellowship National Mass Choir (of which Sojourner Truth Ministry, my church used to be a part of). Anyway, one of the songs, “You Passed Me By” really touched my heart in a deep place and I thought, I would share it with you in the hope that it touches your heart too and inspires some action on your part, if you are not already doing something. The words are written out below, let them sink into your heart.

You Passed Me By

I was hungry, did you feed me?
I was naked, did you cloth me?
I was homeless, did you house me?

I was right there and you passed me by.
I was right there and you passed me by.

Then I heard the Lord say,
I was down and out, did you help me?
I had lost my way, did you guide me?
I was friendless, were you friendly?

I was right there and you passed me by.
I was right there and you passed me by.
You walked right by me and never said a word
I was right there and you passed me by.
I was right there and you passed me by.

You keep looking for me where I used to be
You crossed the sea by boat and by plane
The tomb is empty, the cross is no more
You see that was me my friend, living next door

I was sick with AIDS, did you touch me?
I was serving time, did you visit me?
A pregnant child, did you shun me?

I was right there and you passed me by.
I was right there and you passed me by.

According to the word, the Lord said
I was hungry, did you feed me?
I was naked, did you cloth me?
I was homeless, did you house me?

I was right there and you passed me by.
I was right there and you passed me by.

I was sick with AIDS, did you touch me?
I was serving time, did you visit me?
A little pregnant child, did you shun me?

I was right there and you passed me by.
I was right there and you passed me by.

We always hear folk saying they can’t wait to see Jesus,
They can’t wait to see Jesus,
Christians always talking about, they can’t wait to see Jesus

My bible says in the 25th Chapter of Matthew, that the sheep would be
on the right and the goat would be on the left
And they said Master, how will we know who will win eternal life?

He said unto them, when I was hungry, did you feed me?
When I was naked, did you cloth me?
When I was in prison and sick with AIDS, did you visit me?

They said now Lord when did we see you hungry or naked or sick with AIDS and not visit you.

He said remember that little boy who used to play the piano for your church and when he got sick with AIDS you all started talking about him. But yet he played when you didn’t have many, and he played when you had a great cathedral. And then he got AIDS and you all decided to gossip about him.

He said, I was right there, I was right there.
I was right there and you passed me by.
When I was hungry, you wouldn’t feed me
Told you I had AIDS and you wouldn’t receive me.
I was right there and you passed me by

Then they said to the ones on the right, He said come on into the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. They said Lord how did we make it into the Kingdom? What did we do? We didn’t go to church every Sunday. We didn’t speak in tongues. We didn’t dance. We didn’t run. I don’t know if we ever got the anointing. Why did we make it? He said, when I was hungry, you fed me. When I was naked, you clothed me…

I hope that you enjoy these words and decide to do one or maybe one more thing to help fight the ignorance and silence that still surrounds this disease.

Have peace…

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA.

The Voices

Alone and hurt, that is how it has been; in times like these, I miss my friends…

First and foremost, I would like to acknowledge and thank God, whose love and grace sustain me. Without the loving presence of the Creator in my life, I would not be here. Thank you Lord. I hope this blog will fully manifest Your Will.

Secondly, I would like to acknowledge Leonard, Rev. Hall, Larry, Holiday, Pegi, Paul, Joe, and Van all who I believe acted on God's behalf, in my life to help me learn about and live with this thing called AIDS. Each of these people played key roles in my life, if it was only to hold my hand at a critical point. Since this effort first came to mind, many close friends and associates have passed away. They all deserve special recognition and thanks as their spirits motivate me to continue writing and sharing some of their tales with others. Thank you all.

I would also like to acknowledge all the family members (blood and extended); my past partner Shelly; numerous friends; Bailey Boushay House, members of my African American Support Group; and other associates and participants who support me in this undertaking. They are all too numerous to mention personally here, but they know within their spirits who they are… Thank you and may much love always surround you.

Lastly, I would like to dedicate this effort to all of the people living with HIV/AIDS; you are real heroes.

The death and dying from AIDS has been unparalleled to any other modern disease. Every year more and more African American people are diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. Yet the statistics only tell a part of the tale of the ever-increasing impact of HIV/AIDS on African American people. For those of us living with HIV/AIDS the constant and continual trials of living with the disease disallows many of us the opportunity to take active roles as advocates, activists, or educators. As I have come to see the disproportionate impact of HIV/AIDS on African American communities, I became motivated to take action and at least work at creating a stronger, more honest dialogue. As an advocate for people living with HIV/AIDS, an activist, a consultant, and an educator working on HIV/AIDS issues I still wanted to do more. Specifically, I felt the need to share my experiences and perspectives as an African American living with HIV/AIDS.

These experiences and perspectives make up a large portion of this blog. In the past, our culture necessitated the telling of tales, as much of what we hear in history is, just that, his-story told from a white male perspective and not ours. As such, this effort was undertaken to enlighten others as to what it is like for an African American to live with HIV/AIDS. Through the telling of tales, I hope to let you know just what it is like to live with HIV/AIDS.

AIDS: Tales From The Darker Side is written in the hope of further breaking down the denial about HIV/AIDS prevalent in African American communities. In addition, I hope to encourage support, within and outside of our communities for those of us living with HIV/AIDS. By providing factual information about this epidemic and allowing others to tell their tales, I am hopeful that the general public will gain a greater understanding of the challenges and opportunities African Americans living with HIV/AIDS face as they attempt to cope with the impact of this dreaded disease . . . AIDS.

People are invited to contribute to this effort by telling their own tales and sharing them with others. I am especially interested in hearing about issues related to the following subjects: your life; the number of African Americans impacted by HIV/AIDS; the Tuskegee Syphilis Study and the impact on AIDS programming; blame, discrimination, and power; the politics of AIDS; bisexual, gay, and straight men; women with AIDS; children with AIDS; substance abuse and addiction; emotional and other support systems; care services; sexual relations; disclosure; faith and spirituality; Africa and AIDS – relationship to African Americans; Denial; and partners, friends & family.

Anyway, I hear voices... I think we all hear voices in our heads… the father telling you not to do that, the mother saying she wants the best for you, the boss ordering you to do it over again, and/or the sounds of relatives taking measure of our looks or marital status. Some of the voices I hear in my head are the voices of my many friends who have died from AIDS related illnesses. Charolette, David, Doug, Joe, Joseph, Kim, Lavelle, Lawrence, Lena, Margaret, Milton, Paul, Robert, Sharon, and Van, just to name a few, are all screaming to be heard. Therefore, I have to write to quiet their voices in my head and to ease the heartache I feel from their absence. So some of what you will hear here comes from them through me.

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. To view a copy of this license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/us/ or send a letter to Creative Commons, 171 Second Street, Suite 300, San Francisco, California, 94105, USA.